Peace Family,
I'm back!
And it's definitely not like I never left.
I believe that every aspect of life is part of a greater journey. To transform from where you currently reside, and who you currently are into a magnificent being.
We are born with a strong connection to our divinity and as we get older, we lose this connection. Our connection to the Divine is broken the more we learn from those around us.
We take on their experiences, their beliefs and that becomes our foundation. We get sucked in by the beliefs of those around us, and start believing things about ourselves that really are the constructs of someone else. That are the beliefs that they hold about themselves and are now pushing them off on you.
In my case, this meant really looking at my thoughts about my body, my mind and more. This also meant actually listening to the thoughts and finding out where they come from.
I don't believe I'm fat, I don't believe I'm bad with money, I don't believe exploring other ideologies is going to send me to hell, I don't believe I have bad energy or that I'm mean and hateful, and I definitely don't think I'm a whore/slut.
But a small part of me did.
Because someone else, many people actually, browbeat me with these thoughts until I took them on as a part of my identity. I absorbed someone else's beliefs about who they are. that were pushed off on me, and made them part of me. Took on someone else's sadness, pain and trauma until I warped who I was in my own mind.
This came from a combination of repitition, and not having a strong foundation, or sense of self in the first place. It's very hard to build yourself up, when you have already internalized and absorbed the pain from someone else. The thoughts and dreams of someone else.
I had already spent most of my summer reading and trying to find books that would help me break free from old thought patterns. I finally finished reading The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz and it got me thinking.
If I can just break one of these thought patterns, just one, I'll be able to see if what I think is really my thoughts about myself, or those of someone else. So I picked one thought pattern that I had faced time and time again and got to work.
Now healing is never done in one fell swoop, but since I first began to work to abolish this belief, I feel better. Each day, I can smile and it's brought a renewed sense of love and peace to me
I'm in love with healing my mind and soul. And as I heal those, I can work to heal my body.
That's all for this update.
Hotep!
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